BLAIR WITCH (Review)

Title: Blair Witch
Director: Adam Wingard
Writer: Simon Barrett
Cast: James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, Brandon Scott, Wes Robinson, Valorie Curry
Min: 89
Year: 2016

Some 20 years after the occurrences of the first Blair Witch movie, one of the disappeared three college kids, Heather's brother, James (James Allen McCune) is sent a video via the internet. It's the unclear image of a girl from the creepy, abandoned house in Burkittsville, Maryland. He thinks it is his sis, so he and some friends go off to find her. They, of course, decide that they should also make a docu of it, cause, well, why the fuck not. The dude, Lane (Wes Robinson), who uploaded the video and his friend Talia (Valorie Curry) join them on the sure to be fun filled search. They reach the site and set-up camp. That night, as is to be expected, weird shit begins to happen. And, of course, it gets progressively worse from there.

Just a few days I rewatched and reviewed Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. I praised it for despite its' flaws attempting something new and different. This movie I will mostly shit on for being the exact some lazy, fucking thing, that I am sick of seeing. It, of course, ignores the last film, but that's fine. In many ways, the second movie is sort of this franchise's A New Nightmare existing outside of continuity and in the real world. As such there is not problem here. However, this movie has a shit load of other problems. And, it's a shame cause its' director, Adam Wingard, is talented, as the bloody and fun You're Next so successfully proves. But, before I shit on this exorcise in mediocrity, let's look at the good points, first.

The acting is really good, far better than most sequels aim to have. All the cast members give strong performances. That being said the only characters I actually kinda liked were Talia and Lisa (Callie Hernandez), and the later, I only really cared for towards. It's not that the characters are dicks, it's just that most of them aren't particularly memorable. But, hey at least the acting is good! See, I'm keeping my words positive, or trying to at least!

Second the advancement in technology makes for a better looking film than the first one. Yes, the exact same fucking shakey cam happens, but it is better looking shakey cam! And, now you have drone shots, too! Woohoo! The climax is actually pretty suspenseful and got me into it. I was actually on the edge and had my eyes glued to the screen. There is a cool little twist, too. If only the rest of the film was like this, cause then the end comes and.... It's the same old shit.

And, that is a huge problem. Every beat is the same as the first movie. And, with so many found footage movies, both good and godawful, having come since the TBWP, this is simply horribly uninteresting to see here. The film drags along flat and boring for a good chunk of the story. A story that is fucking lazy and stupid.

Why did he take 20 years to look for Heather? There is a lame and lazy explanation, that of he was four at the time of her disappearance and now that he gets this video online feels the need to go look for her. But, let's call a spade a motherfucking spade. This is a shit excuse used to mask what is essentially an inferior remake, so that no one can say, "Hey stop with the shitty remakes!", since this is a "sequel".

I said the technology is better, but fuck do I ever hate shakey cam. Why must they move the camera so much? Honestly, if I was someone who got this crap and saw this shakey as fuck docu, I would never release it in the real world. I would tell the filmmakers that they suck and need to reconsider their careers of making documentary films.

Finally there is a horrible abundance of jump scares. All of which are made by the fucking crew, themselves, who are clearly fucking morons. Actually, remember how I said that the characters aren't dicks? I was wrong. Cause, only a dick would jump in to scare someone when already scary shit is happening. People, normal people, don't do fucking crap like this. So, stop with pointless, awful jump scares that are not connected to the real terror. Jason jumping out of the lake at the end of the first Friday the 13th is an example of a spectacular jump care. Some asshole kid popping in out of nowhere to "scare" someone, like in this movie, is fucking complete garbage.

Blair Witch is a safe, by-the-numbers, remake, disguised as a sequel. It is saved, slightly, by good acting and a good climax. We have all seen worse horror flicks, but honestly why pay for this crap? In a year filled with great horror movies, doing good at the box office, this middle of road flick is bombing. But, then when you realize that many sequels and remakes have tanked this summer, you see that this fits in well with those losers. In short, if you gotta see this one, wait for fucking cable or Netflix, don't waste your money.

2 out of 4

BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 (Review)

Title: Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Director: Joe Berlinger
Writer: Dick Beebe, Joe Berlinger
Cast: Tristine Skyler, Stephen Baker Turner, Erica Leerhsen, Kim Director, Lanny Flaherty, Jeffery Donovan
Min: 90
Year: 2000

Following the cultural phenomena of the original The Blair Witch Project, a crew of young people decide to take a tour of the movie location ran by Jeffery (Jeffery Donovan) in Burkittsville, Maryland. The next morning they wake up, after having passed out, and their papers and cameras are rip and trashed. They don't remember anything that happened. The tapes remained intact, though, hidden under rocks. But, what happened during their lost time, and what is up with the increasingly weird shit they are seeing? Are they haunted by their delusions or the witch, herself?

Released a year after the first film this is the much maligned sequel to one of the most successful indie movies of all time. Of course, a sequel was to be made, it's an unwritten rule in cinema, maybe more so in the horror world. But, this movie took fans for different all together ride, and that in their eyes, at least, partially hurt the movie. It is certainly flawed, but it doesn't deserve all the hate it gets.

One of the major saving graces is the fact that it had the balls to go against the grain. This could have easily been another found footage, shakey cam, kill some young folk in the woods affair. Instead, co-writer/ director Joe Berlinger went for a meta/ psychological horror flick. Berlinger who made the excellent Paradise Lost docus about kids wrongfully accused of murder for being metal, in particular Metallica, fans, could have given us a faux-docu style turd. Then he have just collected a pay check, and called it a day. Instead, he thought of outside the box.

Studio interference occurred though, and as is often the case, it hurt the movie. They made him shoot unneeded gore which really is out of place and does the movie no good. They also reordered and cut more crap in (IE the gore). A lot of the ambiguity that he was going for is totally lost. Shit, they even switched his music choices adding Marilyn Manson to the opening title scene. The director admits to loving Manson, but that is not what he is going for (if you wanna learn more listen to his excellent DVD's running commentary).

Still, the ideas presented are really smart. Perception vs. reality, media influence, mass delusions, etc. all play a role in the film's plot. It's fairly well paced, except when the random gore inserts are sliced in and make the movie feel uneven and wholly stick out. Still, it actually leads to a fairly well handled climax. The ending itself is not bad, but I can easily see where fans might be like, "That's it?!"

The acting is really good. The cast are mostly unknowns but deliver performances far beyond the usual cash grab sequel, shit. The characters, themselves, serve as archetypes of the audience that the original movie caught the interest and obsession of. Most of the said characters, other than Jeffery, who is admit ably a dick, are pretty likable. All this thought of characters, again goes against the horror sequel mentality.

My two favorite actors and characters come from two very lovely ladies. Kim Director as Kim (all the cast played characters which had the same first name as theirs) is the gorgeous, voluptuous, blue-eyed goth girl of our dreams. She has a little bit of a kick ass attitude and is believable and likable. Erica Leerhsen (who would go on to play a victim in the underwhelming The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake) is great as the Wiccan pissed at the way the first movie represented witches in the first. She also appears almost topless and has an amazing body. Worth mentioning is an all too brief kiss between both these goddesses.

I recall all the hate Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 got when it came it out. Yet, I recall it not being that bad. I hadn't watched it since it was in the movies, until last night. And, it really is not that bad. Most of the issues are studio related, like calling it Book of Shadows. I mean there is no fucking book in this movie, so what the fuck were they thinking?! But, it still remains a bold, interesting, well acted movie. It is not great, and won't please everyone, but I have noticed some nice write-ups and videos pop-up. Is perception changing? I don't know, maybe, those who liked it are finally becoming more vocal. Like me, for example. With Blair Witch, the third installment which will serve as a direct sequel to the classic, coming out this weekend, now is the perfect time to revisit this movie.

3 out of 4